Coping with Expectations of Marriage: Stories of Sexual Minority Women in Urban India

Abstract

The present study examined how sexual minority women cope with their families’ expectations about marriage in young adulthood. Seven urban women between the ages of 21 to 28 were interviewed about their experiences related to expectations of marriage. Thematic analysis was performed to analyze the data. Findings indicate that most families viewed marriage as a compulsory milestone, and were not open to the possibility that women don’t want to marry men. The participants hesitated to come out to their family because of possible denial or loss of relationships and found it difficult to have honest conversations about marriage. Most participants attempted to cope with stressors through emotion focused coping strategies like avoiding conversations about marriage, distractions like work or hobbies, daydreaming and social support. Some problem focused strategies were also used, like working toward financial independence and physically moving away from family. Findings point to the need to better understand the needs of sexual minority women dealing with marriage pressure, suggest ways of coping and create community spaces for them to share their experiences and learn from each other’s lives.